Jan-Lukas Else

Thoughts of an IT expert

Unable to Take the Step

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Short link: https://b.jlel.se/s/1b7
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Feelings of a shy one

I’m unable to take the step. Because of fear and uncertainty. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of embarrassing me. Fear of destroying the existing. Uncertainty of reactions.

I’m shy. I’m introverted. I might be a little different. But I have feelings. The desire for togetherness, the feeling that there is someone who loves me, who is always by my side and who walks with me through thick and thin. Unconditionally.

It hurts to see how others could satisfy this desire, but I am not able. How they walk through life with happiness. They feel so strong.

But I, lonely. Try to compensate for the need with other things. Physical exercise. By writing. Anything. Hide behind a facade. Pretend I don’t mind. Suppress emotions. Ignore feelings. My everyday life.

The only thing that gives me strength is the hope that the whole thing will someday turn around like magic. Power to move on. Don’t pull me down.


Jan-Lukas Else
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