Unable to say goodbye in time. Goodbye forever.
I used to write about what I learned from my experiences (my view of success, what motivates me in the morning or what I learned from oversleeping). Now I’m going to write to process my newer experiences, to cope with the burden and to be able to sleep without puking.
I don’t want to excite pity, or draw any other kind of attention to myself. But everyone processes such an experience in different ways, I do it by writing.
You’re on vacation. By the pool. Relax and enjoy the weather, which is much better than in your home country. 20 degrees Celsius and a sun that catapults you back into the summer. Pleasure.
You go put on a bathing suit. Feel the wet coolness on your body. A round of swimming. Then return to the couch. Dry in the sun. The robe protects you from the wind.
You’ll get tired of it one day. You’re going back to the hotel room with your mother and sister. To take a shower, get really dry and think about what to do in the afternoon. The range of activities on offer is large.
Your mother wonders why your father, who is in the hospital, but a few days ago still said that you should go on holiday, has not called yet. Then there’s a message from your uncle.
And your whole world is falling apart.
Now you try to come back as soon as possible. The next plane you could catch is not due until tomorrow morning. You hope you make it in time.
There’s a call from the hospital at night, it’s even more drastic than expected.
On the plane. People are relaxed, sad that the holiday is over. Children scream.
On the train. People laugh, play games, talk.
You arrive at home and find out you. are. 15. minutes. too. late.