And my desire to write a book

Starting this morning, I’ve been wondering what I can write about all the time. I think, think and think. But fuck, no fucking idea comes to my mind. Why does my creativity fail me so much?

The lack of a suitable idea for an article puts me under pressure. Again and again I remember the mantra preached by so many authors here on Medium to post an article every day. Daily Hustle. Hustle, hustle, hustle…

The fear that the algorithm will punish you for not delivering content every day, the fear that no one will read your own articles, the fear that this will make you want not to write anymore, although you always say that you write because of writing and not because of clicks.

But because of the fear of not having any ideas, you only block your brain even further, so that creativity has no chance to deliver new awesome ideas for the next viral article. Out of necessity alone, you write something, just to write something. Quality moves into the background, the focus shifts to quantity.

I may just need a creative break to experience the world around me. To gain experience, to regain the fascination I had when I started writing almost daily, to burn for telling my stories.

A goal I set myself — the idea popped into my head instead of an article idea by chance — is that I want to write a book (probably an eBook) in the near future, which I want to publish on Amazon etc. myself. I just want to concentrate on writing. On writing with the aim of telling something, telling my story (or perhaps an imaginary one?) and not on publishing, with the primary goal of achieving reach, writing viral articles, generating followers. Fuck, I just want to write!

I want to see the number of words in front of my eyes rise and increase without getting the feeling that I don’t know what to say with the next words. I want to experience the flow, the excitement of telling the story. I just want to feel that spirit.

Of course, there will also be many downs and setbacks when writing the book, especially since I can only do it on the side. There will also be moments when I think I’ve to stop all this shit now and curse myself for having even started.

But it will be a step forward that I can say with more self-confidence that I like to write, that I have something to show that is not just a collection of mixed articles on Medium. That I can not only say that I am blogging, but that I am writing.

But maybe I should stop dreaming and start seriously…