I’m an idiot. A stupid bastard. Really stupid. Because I needed some timeoff, I wished to be ill - knowing that my wishes are just very rarely come true. And what happened? Yes, my wish came true. [insert facepalm emoji here] Just one or two days after I came up with this horrible idea and decision, it catched me. I was just sitting in the lecture hall, listening to the lecturer, when stomach cramps hit me, and they hit me hard.
I recently joined an event in my hometown, which was focused on new technologies. I had the opportunity to give a small talk and I took it. First I was a bit scared, “What will the people think?”, “Do I have enough knowledge to give a talk?”, “I can’t speak good enough…”. But I also thought “You have to leave your comfort zone to grow.” And that’s what I did. I left my comfort zone to grow.
I don’t really like when my situation changes a lot and so I immediately started panicking when something happened last week. I feared about the consequences and all the things I have to due because of this. (I won’t tell you the problem, sorry.) But since then a few days passed and I actually realize, that things aren’t as worse as imagined. Sure, things are still not fun, but less complicated than I initially thought.
If I really want something, I try to search for a solution until I found it. Even if it takes me hours, days or weeks. Whether it’s a software problem or another issue. Often I just can’t accept not to find a solution. I need to run a program for university, which isn’t running well on Linux. I tried everything to make it run natively on my OS, but even after hours, I wasn’t able to get it compiling correctly.
When you’re writing just to publish your thoughts, when you aren’t forced to cover specific topics, when you’re totally free about each post, it may happen often, that you start but also delete many drafts. I often have ideas. Sometimes I think my ideas are great, so I start to write them down. But then I get interrupted or I rethink about my thoughts and come to the conclusion, that they aren’t as good as I was thinking before.