Sometimes I like to listen to music, I listen to a song, which gives me a good feeling, then another and another. I feel really good, sometimes I could even dance, although I don’t really like dancing.

But then, and this is much more often the case, I try to listen to music, for example when I’m doing sports or just want to switch off or cover up some noise, then I don’t like the music at all. Then I have the impression that Deezer always suggests the same songs to me that I’ve already heard far too often, but don’t feel like listening to at the moment. But then I don’t find any better songs either, and at some point I don’t feel like listening to music anymore and turn it off again.

In general, listening to music is an activity for me that I consciously decide to do. I think to myself that I want to listen to music now, for whatever reason, and then I do that. But it’s not a default activity for me. I very rarely listen to music on the side, not like, say, my girlfriend who has her headphones in almost all the time and needs a continuous stream of sound.

I can also only listen to music on the side during activities that are not very mentally demanding. Like when I’m exercising, when I’m cleaning, or when I’m lying around surfing the web. As soon as I have to actively think about something, be it an algorithm or a blog post, the music prevents me from doing so and I have to turn it off. To think, I need silence.

When I reflect on it like this, I think why do I even have a subscription to a music streaming service? Is it just me who likes silence much more than music?